I wasn’t supposed to love you
as if my very life depended on it,
or so much that every time my eyes found yours
words refused to come,
loving you wasn’t supposed to be like breathing
in such a way that I just couldn’t stop,
in such a way that every time I ran into your arms,
I collided with your heart
and exploded into your soul,
I wasn’t supposed to care
so much that every time we were apart,
tears threatened to ruin that perfect mask of makeup,
tears that welled up from deep inside
a tidal wave that was destroying me,
as rain washed the rainbows from the skies
I wasn’t supposed to wander blindly after you
wherever you happened to go,
I wasn’t supposed to live my life wishing you were there,
I wasn’t supposed to want to be your tear,
so that I could be born in your eye
live down your cheek
and die on your lips,
but I did,
because every breath you blew out was like the wind tangling its fingers in my hair,
and every time you stepped away the earth would tremble and shake,
and so sorry, I just couldn’t help myself,
I fell in love with you,
your love had me down on the ground,
begging on my knees
and pleading with a God I had never believed in,
praying that you wouldn’t leave me,
putting out the flame of the only candle that I had to guide me in life,
and so to keep you from abandoning me
I gave you the power to destroy me
making you promise not to cut wounds any deeper, than those I already had,
but lies are told and people change,
and so did you,
you took my body and tore it in half
and wiped every star from the sky,
so here, in the suffocating darkness I sit
absorbing it all in,
letting the pain surge through every inch of my torn body
succumbing to its sting as it rages inside me, shuddering in my veins,
and I laugh brokenly to myself because
I had fooled myself into believe you loved me...
You said that we’d be together forever.
Guess what, forever ended.
I fell for you
letting go of the only handhold between life and death,
I plummeted through the air
and the breath caught in my throat,
choking me,
suffocating me,
and I had faith that you’d be at the bottom
to wrap me safely in your arms,
but you weren’t there to catch me,
and now I’m lying on this cold hard floor,
thoughts are chasing each other relentlessly through my mind
and I realize, I can’t trust either of us anymore,
you stole my heart and left me,
unable to laugh,
you took everything I kept for myself, and told me,
“promises are meant to be broken”
all you let me with was confusion,
a whirlwind screeching and trembling,
and causing my very bones to collapse,
and now I’m in the corner, devastatingly bare,
cowering from your shadow which dances tauntingly around me
and I scream at that shadow, with a voice that no one hears,
that if you’re going to leave me, I wish that you would just go,
and my own mind is doubled over
appalled that I’m hiding from life,
but I am.
I’m hoping it will just go away,
and leave me alone...

that guy tore my heart apart so badly I still haven't found all the pieces