Parents don't reveal their new babies gender. Options

[Lindsey]

http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/babiesp...s-gender-secret

What do you think about this? Or the Unschooling... or... any of it?


Not for me. I was proud to have a son.

However I do think there is a lot of Nurture vs. Nature in this.

[rugger4life]

Austin is a boy. I'm happy with that. I couldn't imagine not telling people i have a son. I don't agree with those people but it's their child their choice.

[still.the.one]

This is odd to me. I don't agree with their choices but I am proud to have a son and will shout if from the rooftops but its to each their own I guess.

[Miss K♥]

I think in order "for the world to become a more progressive place" people need to get the hell over gender differences. How is keeping that baby's sex quiet helping? Totally over-simplified. We make the choices we make based on what we've experienced. We're not a tabula rasa, we need certain "restrictions" in order to overcome them so that we can become the individuals that we should be.

Also I'd like to see how they will follow through with their plan.

[Mas Tnega]

All I want to say to the parents is: Don't push the matter. In general, you can't raise a boy to self-identify as a girl, you can't raise a girl to self-identify as a boy. We have done that experiment and it failed horribly. When your child decides (s)he is whatever (s)he is, that is what (s)he is.

Your child will still be exposed to the differences, your child will more than likely still pick the one they want one; all you're achieving is slightly limited influence. You must only raise your child as genderless for as long as your child makes no expression of gender. You will just mess with their head if you keep hammering a point that plainly isn't true.

[Jamie Noelle x3]

I like the idea. It is a healthy baby and that is all that matters. Society can be so different for a human depending on gender and hey, why not let a young baby/child not have to deal with it?

[Miss K♥]

But wouldn't it be nicer on the parents' part to tell the kid, "alright, since this is how the world works your sex is male/female, here you go, you can use this fact as a guideline if you so wish, BUT we love you so much and support your every decision, so whatever you chose to do and whoever you chose to be, you can count on our support."

I think anyone who has a place like that and parents (guardians, whatever) like that to come home to or go to for advice and support will be fine in this world and will not let any restrictions bother them.

I think the parents in the article only want the best for their kid, as every parent should, but I think they overthought the whole issue and don't see that there is a very "simple" solution which is - be there for your child, support their decisions as long as they aren't obviously damaging to their physical or mental health, respect who they want to be and help them stick up against the outside world if they have to.

[Ah Leesh Ah]

I find the whole thing interesting but very strange. I personally don't agree with it, sure everyone wants to give their children choices but this gender development stage doesn't fully happen until pre-teen/puberty, and at that stage kids are going to try behave and dress the way they want to anyway. These kids aren't going to be confined to their supportive homes for their whole lives so unless the whole world is accepting of it, which we all know it isn't, they're going to run into bullying/hardship/negativity at some stage.

And as a teacher the whole unschooling thing makes me facepalm so bad! Kids need the interaction with other kids in order to develop their creativity and important social skills. These days schools are all becoming extremely supportive of creativity development and early play learning and not just teaching/learning in old text book styles. It's also important for kids to learn to read and write so they can effectively communicate (something that maybe, just maybe they will need in later life!), which, sorry, is not going to be effectively developed just by playing and drawing every single day, as good as that is for kids.

[hollipoo]

I find this very...odd. If my baby is a girl, I'm going to have pink things, and whatnot. If it is a boy, I'm going to have blues and greens and whatnot. I'm not going to hide my baby's gender. If my child gets older and decides they want to wear something that is not for their gender, I'll go from there at that point and time. Which reminds me of little Shiloh. Brad and Angie's child. She has her hair cut like a boy, and wears boys clothes. So whats the big deal? It could be a phase, or it could be early signs of something else. When I was a kid, I used to wear clothes and look like my dad. I also had girls clothes. I turned out fine. I like girl stuff. But in some parts, I'm not so girly. But for you to just say, my kid is my kid. I'm not telling you what it is, now that...that is very strange. Because even if a boy turns up gay, and likes to dress up in dresses, its going to be a boy. The only rare cases, is those who feel they were born in the wrong body, and get themselves a sex change.

[love fuhrer]

Wait wait wait... forgive my skim-reading skillz (or lack thereof) but where does it say that they are going to force Storm (or that they force the other two children) into an agendered role? I am pretty sure I picked up a lot on the kids making those choices [b]in the supportive, non-corrective environment of their parents[b/]. So, by proxy, it's the neighbour, the crossing patrol person, the little girls in the park, the shopkeeper, adnauseum, who have the problem. Jazz doesn't choose to wear long hair in plaits because it's girly: he chooses to wear long hair in plaits because he likes that style and goddamnit if everyone else has a problem with it. And he can only do that in a world where his parents, his protectors, are there to share in his struggle and protect him from ignorance.

I didn't get anything about forcing kids to identify with a gender that traditionally doesn't correllate with their sex. And I personally think it's awesome that they're withholding the sex of their third child. However, I think it stops tragically short in that, ultimately, you can offer a challenge to people about gender ideals/roles/values in society but it doesn't mean they take it up. As evidenced in the article, with the neighbour insisting on a gender identity for the baby, and here, with hardly anyone seeming to stop and think, "Oh actually why might they be doing this, what could be the possible outcomes, what does it teach me about me and my basic assumptions about culture?"

For everyone who has said "I was proud to have a ________" then are you thus implying that these parents are any less proud of their achievement? Shouldn't it be a case of being proud to have your child rather than gendering the relationship? What difference does gender make to that statement, even? Because by making a point of it (in this scenario) I hate to say it, but you're kind of implying otherwise.

[Jamie Noelle x3]

Wait wait wait... forgive my skim-reading skillz (or lack thereof) but where does it say that they are going to force Storm (or that they force the other two children) into an agendered role? I am pretty sure I picked up a lot on the kids making those choices [b]in the supportive, non-corrective environment of their parents[b/]. So, by proxy, it's the neighbour, the crossing patrol person, the little girls in the park, the shopkeeper, adnauseum, who have the problem. Jazz doesn't choose to wear long hair in plaits because it's girly: he chooses to wear long hair in plaits because he likes that style and goddamnit if everyone else has a problem with it. And he can only do that in a world where his parents, his protectors, are there to share in his struggle and protect him from ignorance.

I didn't get anything about forcing kids to identify with a gender that traditionally doesn't correllate with their sex. And I personally think it's awesome that they're withholding the sex of their third child. However, I think it stops tragically short in that, ultimately, you can offer a challenge to people about gender ideals/roles/values in society but it doesn't mean they take it up. As evidenced in the article, with the neighbour insisting on a gender identity for the baby, and here, with hardly anyone seeming to stop and think, "Oh actually why might they be doing this, what could be the possible outcomes, what does it teach me about me and my basic assumptions about culture?"

For everyone who has said "I was proud to have a ________" then are you thus implying that these parents are any less proud of their achievement? Shouldn't it be a case of being proud to have your child rather than gendering the relationship? What difference does gender make to that statement, even? Because by making a point of it (in this scenario) I hate to say it, but you're kind of implying otherwise.

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