You're My Only Hope, Story I wrote. Opinions please. Options

[Just.Her]

You’re my only hope

Prologue

Where does the story truly begin? When they first met? When they fell in love? Or when they heard the news that changed their lives forever?

Trey and Marissa had been best friends all through elementary school, started crushing on each other in junior high, and fell in love in high school. They made it through their last four years of school together, sticking together and trying to have as much fun as they could, breaking rules, skipping classes, and playing jokes on teachers and their classmates. They had their little clique: Summer, Jessica, Shawn, and Miguel, who were there with them through everything, from helping them set up pranks to getting them back together when they argued.

A year after high school, Trey and Marissa were happily married. Four years later, they were still together with two kids, Kyle and Chelsea. Kyle, who was four, was the oldest. Then there was Chelsea, who was two. They were the most amazing and adorable kids anyone could ever ask for.

A month after Chelsea's second birthday, Trey had left to Boston to finish studying, and Marissa had gotten really sick. She ignored it for the first two weeks, thinking she would be okay in a few days, but things got worse. Summer and Jessica had rushed her to the hospital on a Friday evening, hoping for some good news, but getting the opposite. They had found out she had Lukemia, and there was no cure for it.

Marissa had begged her friends not to tell anyone, especially Trey, thinking that everything would change if he found out. She wanted to have as much fun and be as happy as she could, not knowing how much longer she had.

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Chapter One

“He’s coming back tomorrow,” sighed Marissa, watching her kids run around the small playground she was sitting in with her friends. Neither one of her friends replied, not knowing what to say to her anymore. "I know what you guys want to say. He deserves to know. But..." Marissa hesitated. "It's just not that easy."
“Riss... What are you so scared of?” asked Summer.
Marissa took a few seconds to answer. "I'm scared of everything changing."
“Changing? How’s anything gunna change? You’re still Marissa. You’re still beautiful. You’re still smart. You’re the same person you were before.”
“Except with Lukemia. He's gunna start treating me differently, I know it."
"Marissa. He's loved you this long, he's not gunna stop loving you because you're sick," Jessica chimed in.
"I know that. That's not what I'm saying. I'm trying to say... I don't know how to explain." She really didn't. She didn't know how to tell them that she didn't want to be looked at as a sick girl who needs to be taken extra care of. She didn't know how to say she didn't need anyone looking after her like she was a little girl. She was still strong and didn't need to be in bed all day. That's how Trey would have seen things. Being the over-protective, amazing husband he was, he would've thought that he had to take over everything around the house and let her rest, when she didn't need to.
"Well, just know that he really deserves to know and he'll be really hurt if you don't tell him."
“Tell him what?” The three girls looked behind them to find Shawn and Miguel standing over them.
“Nothing!” exclaimed Marissa. “Don’t worry about it.”
Shawn looked at her. “Okay then.” He pushed her over and sat down beside Jessica.

Jess and Shawn had been a couple since their last year of high school. Not one person couldn't see how happy they were together and how much they loved being together. They had been engaged for a month and were planning on getting married August of next year.

Summer and Miguel had been together for a year and a half. They were the on and off couple in the group. Everyone could tell they really loved each other, but they both had a lot of problems and usually took it out on each other, but couldn’t last a day without talking again.

Kyle and Chelsea ran towards Marissa, laughing and pushing each other.
“Mommy!” yelled Chelsea, giggling at the same time. Marissa grinned and opened her arms for a hug. Chelsea ran into her arms, Kyle after her.
“Mom, I wanna go home,” said Kyle.
“If we go home, you’ll have to go to bed,” replied Marissa.
“It’s okay. That means we get to see dad faster.”
Marissa smiled and looked at her friends. “We’re gunna go. You guys are coming to the airport tomorrow, right?”
“For sure," smiled Summer.

Half an hour later, Kyle and Chelsea were fast asleep, leaving Marissa lonely. She lay in her own bed, wishing Trey was there beside her. Even though he would be back in only seventeen hours, she didn't think she could wait that long. He had called her every morning and every night for the past two months he was gone just to hear her voice. Sometimes he would talk to her for hours or until she fell asleep, but she still missed him terribly. She knew he had to do this though.

Trey had always wanted to be in the business industry and Marissa believed he could do it. There was no way he couldn't. He had been a straight A student all through elementary and junior high, and had breezed through high school. A year after their marriage, he had started university, hoping to do what he always wanted, and now had a year left of school. The two months spent at America were his last two months for the year.

In the meantime, he was a credit and loans manager at Helm Bank in Miami, Florida, where their home was. He worked part-time every day of the week, except Sunday, coming home at 3:30 everyday. Some days he would come home fuming because of all the crazy people he had to deal with, or all the forms he had to fill out.

Those were the days when Marissa would turn the shower on for him and send the kids outside or to take a nap, then she would make them a nice dinner. He always loved when she cooked. He would stand there, leaning against the counter and watch her, smiling the whole time, or just talk to her until she was finished. Then he would leave the kitchen and come back a few seconds later with Kyle and Chelsea. The four of them would sit down and talk about all kinds of things, as they worked through their dinner.

Marissa sighed and got out of bed. Not knowing exactly what she was going to do, she made her way downstairs for a glass of water. As she put the glass on the counter, she heard the phone ring loudly. She rushed to grab it, not wanting the kids to wake up. Trey.

"Hey love," she smiled into the phone.
"Hey! Did I wake you?" His soothing voice sent chills down her spine. She hadn't expected him to call, as he was probably getting ready to leave the next day.
"No, no. I couldn't fall asleep."
"Are you okay? You aren't sick again, are you?" He had known that she had gotten sick the first couple of weeks he was gone, but she had told him she had felt better a few days after the hospital visit.
"No. I just really miss you."
"I can't wait to see you again tomorrow."
"Me neither."
"How are the kids?" he asked.
"Kyle was actually excited about going to bed tonight because he said he'd get to see you faster."
"Aww!"
"And Chelsea keeps saying how she's mad at you and she's not gunna talk to you," Marissa said, giggling.
"Oh no, how come?"
"Because you left her."
"Aww. Well, she won't be so mad at me after she sees what I got her."
"What'd you get her?"
"Not telling. You'll tell her."
"Come on."
"Nope."
"Fine. Then what'd you get me?"
"Many, many kisses."
Marissa smiled to herself. "That's not enough."
"I guess I'll have to go look for some more then."
"I guess you will. I want at least fourty," she teased.
"Oh, you'll have a lot more than that, trust me."
"How many more?"
"That's for me to know..."
Marissa cut him off. "And for me to find out."
"Exactly. Are you in bed?"
"No, I'm on the couch."
"Kay, go up to bed."
"How come?" she asked him as she made her way back upstairs to their room.
"Because I wanted to say goodnight to you while you're in bed. Don't want you falling asleep on the couch."
"I'm in bed," Marissa said as she got cozy.
"Comfortable?" he asked.
"Mhm."
"Okay. Goodnight babe."
"Wait..."
"Hm?"
"Promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Dream of me, okay?"
"When don't I?"



******

This is just the beginning. I'm working on chapter two, so if I get feedback, I'll post that too. But for now, I just need to know if this is okay or not.

Thanks.

[Miss K♥]

That's pretty good, it makes me want to know how the story continues!!! =) You just might want to research leukemia (that's how it's spelled) a bit better and watch your spelling, like the "gunna" just kind of irritated me when I was reading it. But I don't know, maybe that's just your style.
But post the next chapter, now I'm curious! =)

[Just.Her]

That's pretty good, it makes me want to know how the story continues!!! =) You just might want to research leukemia (that's how it's spelled) a bit better and watch your spelling, like the "gunna" just kind of irritated me when I was reading it. But I don't know, maybe that's just your style.
But post the next chapter, now I'm curious! =)

I was actually going to research Leukemia (Sorry about the spelling before, I'll fix that). But what made you say that? Just wanna know if I can do anything to make it better.

The whole "gunna" thing was dialogue. It just made seem more real. I can try to do something about that though.

I'll post the next chapter as soon as I finish, I'm still working on it.

Thanks for your opinion!

[Just.Her]

I've fixed a couple things, thanks to Miss K's feedback. Maybe this'll sound a bit better.

From:
A month after Chelsea's second birthday, Trey had left to Boston to finish studying, and Marissa had gotten really sick. She ignored it for the first two weeks, thinking she would be okay in a few days, but things got worse. Summer and Jessica had rushed her to the hospital on a Friday evening, hoping for some good news, but getting the opposite. They had found out she had Leukemia, and there was no cure for it.

To:
A month after Chelsea's second birthday, Trey had left to Boston, Massachusetts to finish studying, and Marissa had gotten really sick. She ignored it for the first two weeks, thinking she would be okay in a few days, but things got worse. Summer and Jessica had rushed her to the hospital on a Friday evening, hoping for some good news, but getting the opposite. They had found out she had chronic leukemia. The doctor had told them that there were cures for it, but it could seldom be treated. After he had said that, Marissa knew that it meant there was no point, she was going to die anyway.

Well, actually that's it. I'm almost done chapter two, so I'll post it soon.

[Just.Her]

42 views, one reply? That's blah.

Well, maybe after chapter two I'll get more replies. Here it is...

Chapter Two

Marissa made her way through the airport, carrying Chelsea and holding onto Kyle's hand. She had been so excited that morning, she could barely sit down. She had cleaned the house, leaving not a spec of dust anywhere, then gave her kids a shower and got them ready. Turning on the TV for them to watch, she had taken a shower and got dressed herself, which took longer than usual. Fifteen minutes later, they had arrived at the airport an hour early.

Shawn and Miguel were already there when she had arrived with Kyle and Chelsea. Shawn had on the usual baseball cap, covering his almost hairless head. His chestnut brown eyes smiled just as his mouth did. His white sweater was zipped halfway up, revealing the white muscle shirt he had on underneath. His normal jeans were dark blue and ripped up at places, but didn't show anything.

Miguel's curly black hair was held in place with gel. His blue eyes gleamed, just as they always did, making his whole face beam. He was wearing a black T-shirt with white splotches in places. His camo capris hung just below his knees.

"I can see the excitment all over your face." Shawn grinned at her.
Marissa smiled and sat down beside him, putting Chelsea in her lap. Kyle jumped into Miguel's lap. "Hey Ky." Miguel smiled at him.
"Hi Miguel."
"Are you excited about seeing dad again?"
"Yeah! I can't wait."
Shawn looked at Chelsea. "What about you?"
Chelsea looked at her mom. "Tell him."
"She's mad at him because he left," Marissa answered for her.
"Aww, now he's going to be sad!"
"He made me sad," she said, looking at the ground.

A few minutes later, Summer and Jessica walked over to them, trying to fake their smiles. That was what they had been doing for the past two months and it really hurt Marissa. She knew they were trying to treat everything like nothing changed, and try not to upset her, but she knew it hurt them.

Marissa could tell Shawn and Miguel sensed something was going on, which kind of scared her. What if they got it out of Summer or Jessica and told Trey? Or what if they treated her differently themselves? They were guys, and no one could ever know what they would think or do. She probably wouldn't have even told Summer or Jessica if they hadn't been with her. But now there was nothing she could do, except wait. Wait for what? She really didn't know. She just felt like she was waiting for something.

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Trey made his way through the crowded airport, eager to see his family again. The two months he had spent away from them were torture, and he glad it was over.
"Daddy!" His heart stopped at that voice. He looked around, trying to find his son.
"Heyy buddy!" He exclaimed as he bent down for a hug. "What's up?"
"Nothing."
"Did you miss me?" asked Trey as he let go of Kyle to look at him. His ginger blonde hair was spiked, making him look like a photocopy of his dad. His face was shining, his hazel eyes gleaming. He was wearing his favorite jeans that him and Trey had bought when they went shopping a couple months before he left. His blue sweater was a little too big on him, but he always wore it anyway.
"Yeah, lots."
"So did I. Where are Chelsea and mom?"
"Over there." Kyle pointed to a bench across from them.

Trey looked over to find Marissa, Chelsea, and their friends sitting on the bench watching him and Kyle. Marissa beamed and got up, slowly walking over to him as he stared at her. She looked beautiful, just as always, her caramel blonde hair straightened, her bangs falling over her emerald green eyes. Her ivory skin looked a little pale and she seemed skinnier than when he last saw her. Her red sweater had two white birds in the shape of a heart with blossoms and roses in the background. Her faded jeans were rolled up to her knees, making them capris more than jeans. Trey didn't make a move as she got closer to him. When she was close enough for him to put his arms around her, he didn't.
"Did you know that you still take my breath away?" He put his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes.
She smiled. "And did you know that you do too?"
Trey put his lips against hers, making her close her eyes and tilt her head. He put one hand on her back, pulling her closer to him, and the other hand on the back her neck. He kissed her passionately, knowing that many eyes were on them, but not caring.

A few minutes later, Miguel coughed loudly, bringing them out of their world.
"Thank you, Miguel," Marissa said, sarcastically.
Trey smiled and looked at Chelsea. Her short, brownish blonde hair was down, her bangs covering her forehead. She had her mom's green eyes and her skin tone. Her little red miniskirt was held by a black belt, hanging at the side, matching her frilly red T-shirt.
"Hey baby!" Trey put his arms out for hug.
"No." Chelsea crossed her arms and looked away from him.
"Ouch. Why not?"
"Because you leaved me."
"I'm sorry. But I'm back now and I want lots of hugs."
"No!"
Trey made a pouty face, making Chelsea giggle. "Please, Chels."
"Fine. But I still mad." Chelsea walked over to her dad and hugged him.
"Aha!" He scooped her in his arms and picked her up. "I got you!"
"No! Let me goo." She tried to wriggle free.
"You're trapped. I know you're not mad. You can't be mad at daddy."
"Okay, okay. I not mad."
"Kay then, give daddy a kiss." Chelsea kissed his cheek. "And another one." She kissed his other cheek. "And a big hug." She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.
"I missed you," she said to him.
"I missed you too, babe."

"We're kinda getting bored here." Summer faked a yawn.
Trey looked at his friends, putting Chelsea down. "I'm sorry." He walked over to Summer and kissed her cheek. Her black hair was in a ponytail, her side bangs dropped. Her ocean blue eyes seemed sad and tired, even though she was smiling. He could tell the smile was forced. She was wearing a jeans miniskirt and black leggings, matching her black tube top.
"Is something wrong, Sum?" he asked her.
He noticed how she hesitated before answering him. "No, nothing." She glanced at Jessica, then the ground.
"Okay. But if something is, I'm here."
"I know."

Trey moved on to Jessica, kissing her cheek also. Her blonde locks were let down, over her cheek. She always had her hair like that. There was a scar on her left cheek from when she was younger. Her dad always had temper tantrums before he passed away, when she was nine. Once, he had thrown a knife in his hand at her when he had gotten angry, thinking it would miss her, but it hadn't. It had scarred her and she was told that he felt really bad and regretted it for the rest of his life. Jessica would cover it up with makeup or with her hair, not wanting anyone to judge her. Her brown eyes reflected Summer's, and he could tell she had been crying a lot.
"It's nice to see you again." She smiled. That one was forced too. What was going on?
"It's nice to see you too."

He punched fists with Miguel and Shawn, trying to find the same gloomy look, but not seeing it. So it's something only the girls know, he thought. I'll ask Riss about it later.

"So, how was Boston?" asked Summer, as they walked outside.
"It's beautiful. But definately not like here."
"Well, obviously. This is Miami, baby." Marissa grinned.

The six friends had been living in Miami all their lives and none of them had ever thought about leaving. It was a beautiful place to call home. The weather was always cool or hot. There was rain, almost every month, but mostly the summer months. Only one snowfall was ever recorded, in 1977. The city was right on the ocean, attracting tourists and vistors from all over the world.

"Are you guys coming over?" Marissa asked her friends.
"Actually, Jess and I have to do something. Maybe tomorrow though?" said Shawn.
"Sure. What about you guys?" Marissa looked at Miguel and Summer.
"Um, no. We'll leave you guys alone today, and we'll come with Jess and Shawn tomorrow." Summer smiled at her.
"Kay. We'll see you guys tomorrow then."

The ride home was spent talking about things that happened in Trey's abscence. Marissa, Kyle, and Chelsea didn't leave out a single detail. Except the result of the hospital visit.