Short Fiction Story Options

[Kare to the Bear]

For my writing 2 class, we have to write a short fiction story. This is what i have so far, and i LOVE to hear what you think. Don't worry about being "too hard" because all i want is to improve my story. And i will be updating until i've compleatly finnished (IMG:http://www.aimgirl.com/talk/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)





Alice skipped up the steps of her house and burst through the front door. I can’t wait for the summer! I have so much I want to do, she thought. A warm breeze blew in the open door, dancing with her sunflower yellow dress. She walked a few feet and dropped her chocolate brown purse on the bottom step of the sweeping staircase that led up to the second floor of the old Victorian sty le house. Next to her purse, she gingerly slipped out of her yellow colored high heel sandals.
Barefooted, she walked across the cold hardwood floors to the tiled kitchen. A note was on the granite countertop on the island. “Alice, I have to work late. Dinner is in the fridge. See you later. Love you, Mom.” Alice sighed when she read the note. Mom is never home anymore. She walked over to the big stainless steel refrigerator and opened it. Peering inside, the thing her mom left her for dinner looked like it had seen better days. The grayish brown mean was fuzzy with white mold. Disgusted, she went to the cabinet under the sink and pulled out bright yellow rubber gloves and pulled them on. She went back to the refrigerator, feet slapping against the cool tile, echoing through out the large house, reminding Alice that her dad was gone and her mom had become a workaholic.
Opening the refrigerator for a second time, she grabbed the platter with the unidentified food on it and walked back to the island. Setting the U.F.P on the counter, she opened the cabinet that held the garage can and tossed the U.F.P, platter and all, into it.
She walked to the back stairs, located at the back of the kitchen, and made her way up to the second floor. Stepping onto the bright plush carpet, her eyes drifted to the little side table. There was a thick layer of dust resting on the table. She could see a faint outline of a picture frame that used to hold a picture of the one happy family. Sadness knotted her stomach and tears pricked the back of her eyes.
With a forceful blink, she pushed the tears back and made her way down the hall to her room. As she passed a dark room, a lump in her throat surfaces. She paused in front of the doorway, reached in, grasped the cold brass handle, and pulled it towards her. Once she heard the click of the door latching, she let out the breath she didn’t realize that she was holding and the lump in her throat slowly dissipated until the only thing left was a faint memory. She made her way further down the hallway, padding one bright room after another until she reached the last door.
Turning into her room, a stream of bright light hit her, helping brighten her room. Pictures with smiling faces are rafts in the blue ocean of her walls. A big four poster bed sat against the wall perpendicular to the wall with the door. The huge walk in closet door is open, reveling its contents to the bed.
Alice walked across the room, over to the stereo next to the bed, and turned it on. A dance mix poured into the room. She turned the volume all the way up, to try to forget that she was alone in the house. The walls pulsated with the beat. Alice could hardly hear her own thoughts. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, letting the music take over her.
After a few minutes, she felt better about her dead beat dad and her mom working so much. She grabbed her cell phone and started calling people up. “Hey, it’s Alice. Huge party at my house at 9. Invite who ever,” she said to whom ever answered the phone. When she finished calling every teenager in the phonebook stored on her phone, she took her iPod out of the dock, brought it downstairs, plugged it in the surround sound that was wired throughout the house, and turned as loud as it would go. She walked into the kitchen, not feeling so lonely anymore and raided the cabinets for party food.

[Kare to the Bear]

... ok.. no responces...
here's what i have so far (i'm posting the whole thing because i've added stuff)



Alice skipped up the steps of her house and burst through the front door. I can’t wait for the summer! I have so much I want to do, she thought. A warm breeze blew in the open door, dancing with her sunflower yellow dress. She walked a few feet and dropped her chocolate brown purse on the bottom step of the sweeping staircase that led up to the second floor of the old Victorian style house. Next to her purse, she gingerly slipped out of her yellow colored high heel sandals.
Barefooted, she walked across the cold hardwood floors to the tiled kitchen. A note was on the granite countertop on the island. “Alice, I have to work late. Dinner is in the fridge. See you later. Love you, Mom.” Alice sighed when she read the note. Mom is never home anymore. She walked over to the big stainless steel refrigerator and opened it. Peering inside, the thing her mom left her for dinner looked like it had seen better days. The grayish brown meat was fuzzy with white mold. Disgusted, she went to the cabinet under the sink and pulled out bright yellow rubber gloves and pulled them on. She went back to the refrigerator, feet slapping against the cool tile, echoing through out the large house, reminding Alice that her dad was gone and her mom had become a workaholic.
Opening the refrigerator for a second time, she grabbed the platter with the unidentified food on it and walked back to the island. Setting the U.F.P on the counter, she opened the cabinet that held the garage can and tossed the U.F.P, platter and all, into it.
She walked to the back stairs, located at the back of the kitchen, and made her way up to the second floor. Stepping onto the bright plush carpet, her eyes drifted to the little side table. There was a thick layer of dust resting on the table. She could see a faint outline of a picture frame that used to hold a picture of the one happy family. Sadness knotted her stomach and tears pricked the back of her eyes.
With a forceful blink, she pushed the tears back and made her way down the hall to her room. As she passed a dark room, a lump in her throat surfaced. She paused in front of the doorway, reached in, grasped the cold brass handle, and pulled it towards her. Once she heard the click of the door latching, she let out the breath she didn’t realize that she was holding and the lump in her throat slowly dissipated until the only thing left was a faint memory. She made her way further down the hallway, padding one bright room after another until she reached the last door.
Turning into her room, a stream of light hit her bright dress, helping brighten her room. Pictures with smiling faces are rafts in the blue ocean of her walls. A big four poster bed sat against the wall perpendicular to the wall with the door. The huge walk in closet door was open, reveling its contents to the bed.
Alice walked across the room over to the stereo next to the bed, and turned it on. A dance mix poured into the room. She turned the volume all the way up, to try to forget that she was alone in the house. The walls pulsated with the beat. Alice could hardly hear her own thoughts. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, letting the music take over her.
After a few minutes, she felt better about her dead beat dad and her mom working so much. She grabbed her cell phone and started calling people up. “Hey, it’s Alice. Huge party at my house at 9. Invite who ever,” she said to whom ever answered the phone. When she finished calling every teenager in the phonebook stored on her phone, she took her iPod out of the dock, brought it downstairs, plugged it in the surround sound that was wired throughout the house, and turned it up as loud as it would go. She walked into the kitchen, not feeling so lonely anymore and raided the cabinets for party food.
When she was finished, the island was filed high with plastic cups, chips, and beer and wine. Moving into the other rooms, Alice removed embarrassing photos of her and hid them under the kitchen sink. Glancing at the clock, she still had an hour to kill before people were going to start to arrive. She walked back up the stairs, closing her eyes when she got to the top so she wouldn’t see the empty table again and walked into the bathroom. Turning on the shower full blast and as hot as it would go, she discarded her dress and stepped in. The hot water hit her like she was standing under a waterfall and all she wanted to do was catch her breath. She scrubbed her skin until it was raw. She turned off the water and grabbed a big, fluffy, white towel and wrapped herself up in it. She walked across the hall to her room and made her way to her closet. Grabbing clothes off the hangers and holding them up to her self, she discarded them in a pile on her floor. Finally content with a pair of low rise jeans and a low cut, belly baring shirt, Alice put them on and walked over to her vanity. She grabbed her shimmer wand and dusted her porcelain face and added some mascara to her lashes. Looking in the mirror she examined her reflection. Her light brown hair fell heavily on her shoulders, still dripping with water, and her big blue eyes caught everyone’s attention when she doesn’t wear eye makeup, but even more so when she puts on a little mascara. Her completion was soft from last year’s fading tan. She ran a brush through her hair to get all of the snarls out and the excess water.
Now there was just minutes until people would start arriving, Alice walked down the front steps and turned on the front porch light. She grabbed her purse and hid it in the back of the closet under the stairs and sat on the last stair to wait for people to come.
* * *
Soon there were masses of people throughout the house. With a cup in hand, Alice made her way through the crowd, not looking for anyone, just watching people. A strong arm snaked under her arm and around her stomach, making her jump. Alice turned around and saw it was Dan, her best guy friend. “Hey! You scared me!” she teasingly yelled, laughing. She reached up and gave him a hug, her arms not even fitting around him. He hugged her back, breathing in her scent, making his heart skip a beat. She pulled back to get a good look at him. He was wearing a white ribbed tank top and a pair of jeans. Alice wished that he would just open his eyes and really see her standing there.
“Great party!” He yelled over the music. He wished he could just tell her how he really felt.
“Thanks, my mom was being herself, so I figured it was time to have a little fun,” she replied, taking a sip out of her cup. “Let’s go some place a little quieter,” she yelled, as she grabbed his wrist and began making her way through the crowd again, waving when she spotted someone she knew. She led him up the front staircase, each step in beat with the music. She entered the first room at the top of the stairs and sat down on her bed. The music was a distant thumping in the background. Alice’s ears rang as she sat in the near silence of her room.
Dan walked slowly around the room, examining each photo with so much intensity that the scene became alive in his mind. A smile spread across his face when he reached a picture from the 8th grade.

[perfectly imperf...]

i really like your story. cant waite to read more

[Kare to the Bear]

^thanks (IMG:http://www.aimgirl.com/talk/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

here's some more... i got typing like crazy

Alice is the first person to spot Dan as he walks onto the bus. His brown hair falls into his eyes as he tries to find a seat. His blue plaid shirt is all buttoned up except for the top three buttons, where a white undershirt peaks out. His hazel eyes catch her attention at first. He quickly slides into an empty seat towards the font of the bus, unsure where to sit. One stop after another, kids get on, but they all avoid him like he has some highly contagious disease. Dan just keeps his head pointed to the window, pretending that he doesn’t notice all the stares and the not-so quiet whispers around him. After twenty excruciating minutes, the bus finally came to a stop at the final destination, John Adams Middle School. Kids stream out of different busses onto the sidewalk, merging onto the sidewalk. Everyone on the bus stands up and pushes their way down the aisle. Dan barely manages to join the crowd, and is pushed in every direction. Stumbling down the step, he makes it to the safety of the sidewalk.
Alice gets off the bus and makes her way to the new kid. "Hey, I haven't seen you before. Are you new?" Dan just nods at her, not finding the words. He can't get over how her blue eyes sparkle with every breath she takes. "My name is Alice,” she continues, trying not to show how great she thinks Dan looks.
“Hi, I’m Dan.” he replied She whips out her camera and takes a picture of them both so no matter what, she could always look at him.
Alice sneezed, bringing Dan back to the present. “Bless You,” he called over his shoulder as he looked at the last picture on her wall. Once he was finished, he walked over to the bed and sat down. “Sooo… what did you want to talk about?” he asked, looking over at her. Her brown hair fell into her face as she looked at her half filled cup. She reached over to the bedside table and placed her cup on it.
She turned and looked him in the eyes. there was so much she wanted to say, but she didn’t know where to start. She hasn’t let many people into her life. Most of her friends don’t even know what’s happened with her father; all they know is that he’s gone. Thoughts ran through Alice’s mind. What will Dan say if I tell him the truth? Do I really want him to know? What if that just messes what we have up. But it can’t because we’re so close. She takes a deep breath and slowly let it out. Here goes nothing. “well, you know how my dad isn’t in the picture?” she started. He nodded and shifted so his body was turned to her. He could tell that this was going to be serious. “He left me and my mom. One day, when I got home from school, his things were gone. No explanation. Nothing.” Alice didn’t even try to fight back the tears that welled up in her eyes. With one blink, they poured down her face. She put her face in her hands and sobbed. She felt arms embrace her shaking body and collapsed in them. “Why… Would… He… Do some… Thing like… That?” she managed to get out. “I… thought we… were happy.”
“Shhh. It’s ok,” he soothed as he ran his hand up and down her back, trying to calm her. He began rocking her back and forth. He put his chin on her head, enjoying the weight of her body against his.
After a few minutes the sobbing subsided and she looked up at him, mascara streaked down her face. “God, I must look awful,” she laughed as she rubbed her eyes, making it worse; she looked like a raccoon.
“You look beautiful,” he said gently, still holding her, not ready to let her go.
“You’re just saying that.
“No, I’m not.” He bent down and gently kissed her on the lips. His heart beat a mile a minute, and he was sure that she could feel it in his chest. She pulled him closer and kissed him again. She longed for that moment since she met him, 5 year earlier. He hungrily kissed her back, not wanting this moment to end. She ran her hands up and down his back, trying to get as close to him as possible. She grabbed he bottom of his shirt and slowly pushed it up his muscular back. He lifted his arms and allowed her to pull it over his head, breaking their kiss for a second. She threw the shirt on the floor. He paused before kissing her again, their lips just barely not touching. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered. She nodded and kissed him again.
He ran his hand down her back and grabbed the hem of her shirt, sliding it up and caressing every inch of skin that was reveled. He pulled the shirt over her head and discarded it on the floor. She slid back so her head was lying on her pillows. He crawled up to her and kissed her again. She was in ecstasy. She reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. As he kicked them off, he started to unbutton hers, kissing down her body to her navel and back up again.

This post has been edited by Kare to the Bear: Feb 13 2008, 08:17 PM

[wonderwallbyoasi...]

the story is really good, it gets you hooked...more coming?

[Kare to the Bear]

thanks (IMG:http://www.aimgirl.com/talk/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) here's what i've done so far (some old, some edited, and some new)

Alice skipped up the steps of her house and burst through the front door. I can’t wait for the summer! I have so much I want to do, she thought. A warm breeze blew in the open door, dancing with her sunflower yellow dress. She walked a few feet and dropped her chocolate brown purse on the bottom step of the sweeping staircase that led up to the second floor of the old Victorian style house. Next to her purse, she gingerly slipped out of her lemon yellow colored high heel sandals.
She walked barefoot kitchen. The message indicator blinked on the phone on the granite countertop. Her mother’s voice filled the room as Alice hit the playback button. “Alice, I forgot that I had to go on a business trip. See you Sunday. Love you.” Alice sighed when she heard the message. Mom is never home anymore. She walked to the back stairs, her feet slapping against the cool tile, echoing throughout the large house, reminding Alice that her dad was gone and her mom had become a workaholic. She made her way to the second floor. Stepping onto the bright white plush carpet, her eyes drifted to the little side table next to the first door in the hall. A thick layer of dust rested on the table. She could see a faint dust-free outline of a picture frame that used to hold a picture of her once happy family.
Sadness knotted her stomach and tears pricked the back of her eyes as she thought about the picture. It was of the last day of their final family vacation. Cinderella’s pink castle was a bright contrast to the deep blue sky. Alice, with her 10 year-old face, was looking up at her father while she stood in between them. Her parents were holding hands behind her back, smiling wide. The vacation was perfect.
With a forceful blink, she pushed the tears away and made her way down the hall to her room. She began to pass a dark room where her parents used to spend their nights; a lump in her throat surfaced. She paused in front of the doorway, reached in, grasped the cold brass handle, and pulled it towards her. Once she heard the click of the door latch, she let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. The lump in her throat slowly dissipated until the only thing left was a faint memory. She made her way further down the hallway, passing one sun filled room after another until she reached the last door.
Turning into her room, a stream of light hit her dress, helping brighten her room. Pictures with smiling faces were boats on the blue ocean of her walls. A big four poster bed sat against the wall perpendicular to the door. The huge walk in closet revealed its contents to the bed.
Alice walked across the room to the stereo next to the bed and turned it on. A dance mix poured throughout the room. She turned the volume all the way up, trying to forget that her loneliness. The walls pulsated with the beat. Alice hardly heard her own thoughts. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, letting the music take over her.
After a few minutes, she felt better about what was wrong in her life. She grabbed her cell phone and started calling people. “Hey, it’s Alice. Huge party at my house at 9. Invite whoever,” she said to the person who answered the phone. When she finished calling every teenager in the phonebook stored on her phone, she took her iPod out of the dock, brought it downstairs, plugged it in the surround sound, wired throughout the house, and turned it up as loud as it would go. She walked into the kitchen, not feeling so lonely anymore and raided the cabinets for party food.
When she was finished, the island was piled high with plastic cups, chips, beer and wine. Moving into the other rooms, Alice removed embarrassing photos of herself and hid them under the kitchen sink. Glancing at the clock, she still had an hour to kill before people started to arrive. She walked back up the stairs, closing her eyes when she got to the top so she wouldn’t see the empty table again, and walked into the bathroom. Turning on the shower full blast and as hot as it would go, she discarded her dress and stepped in. The hot water hit her like she was standing under a waterfall, hard and uncaring. She scrubbed until her skin became raw. She turned off the water and grabbed a big, fluffy, white towel and wrapped herself up in it. She walked across the hall to her room and made her way to her closet. Grabbing clothes off the hangers and holding them up to herself, she discarded them in a pile on her floor. Finally content with a pair of low rise jeans and a low cut, belly baring shirt, Alice walked over to her vanity. She grabbed her shimmer wand, dusted her porcelain face and added some mascara to her lashes. Looking in the mirror she examined her reflection. Her light brown hair fell heavily on her shoulders, still dripping with water. Her big blue eyes caught everyone’s attention when she didn’t wear eye makeup, but even more so when she put on a little mascara. Her complexion, soft from last year’s fading tan, glistened in the setting sun. She ran a brush through her hair to get all of the snarls out and the excess water.
With just minutes before people started arriving, Alice walked down the front steps and turned on the front porch light. She grabbed her purse, and hid it in the back of the small closet next to the door and sat on the last stair to wait for people to come.
* * *
Masses of people moved throughout the house. With a cup in hand, Alice made her way through the crowd, not looking for anyone, just watching people. A strong arm snaked under her arm and around her stomach, making her jump. Alice turned around and saw it was Dan, her best guy friend. “Hey! You scared me!” she teasingly yelled, laughing. She reached up and gave him a hug, her arms not even fitting around him. He hugged her back, breathing in her scent, making his heart skip a beat. She pulled back to get a good look at him. He wore a white ribbed tank top and a pair of jeans. He made her blood run faster and her breath become quicker.
“Great party!” He yelled over the music. The words of how he really felt settled at the tip of his tongue, but they did not deliver because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship.
“Thanks. My mom had a business trip, so I figured it was time to have a little fun,” she replied, taking a sip out of her cup. “Let’s go some place a little quieter,” she yelled, as she grabbed his wrist and began making her way through the crowd again, waving when she spotted some of her friends; she indicated that she was going upstairs and if they would keep an eye on the party. She led him up the front staircase, each step in beat with the music. She entered the first room at the top of the stairs, shutting the door as soon as Dan entered the room and sat down on her bed. The music was a distant thumping in the background. Alice’s ears rang as she sat in the near silence of her room, the thumping muffled by the door.
Dan walked slowly around the room, examining each photo with so much intensity that the scene became alive in his mind. A smile spread across his face when he reached a picture from his first day at a new school in 8th grade.

Alice is the first person to spot Dan as he walks onto the bus. His brown hair falls into his eyes as he tries to find a seat. His blue plaid shirt is all buttoned up except for the top three buttons, where a white undershirt peaks out. His hazel eyes catch her attention at first. He quickly slides into an empty seat towards the font of the bus, unsure where to sit. One stop after another, kids get on, but they all avoid him like he has some highly contagious disease. Dan just keeps his head pointed to the window, pretending that he doesn’t notice all the stares and the not-so quiet whispers around him. After twenty excruciating minutes, the bus finally comes to a stop at the final destination, John Adams Middle School. Kids stream out of different buses onto the sidewalk, merging together. Everyone on the bus stands up and pushes their way down the aisle. Dan barely manages to join the crowd and gets pushed in every direction. Stumbling down the step, he makes it to the safety of the sidewalk.
Alice gets off the bus and makes her way to the new kid. “Hey, I haven’t seen you before. Are you new?” Dan just nods at her, not finding the words. He can’t get over how her blue eyes sparkle with every breath she takes. “Well, if you hang out with me and my friends, you’ll get along just fine. My name is Alice,” she continues, trying not to show how great she thinks Dan looks.
“Hi, I’m Dan.” he replied. She whips out her camera and takes a picture of them both so no matter what, she could always look at him.

Alice sneezed, bringing Dan back to the party. “Bless you,” he called over his shoulder as he looked at the last picture on her wall. Once he was finished, he walked over to the bed and sat down. “Sooo… what did you want to talk about?” he asked, looking over at her. Her brown hair fell into her face as she looked at her half filled cup. She reached over to the bedside table and placed her cup on it.
She turned and his caring, steel grey eyes looked right back at her. The memories flooded her mind because of the alcohol in her stomach, despreate to escape. She hesitated-- there weren’t many people she let into her life. Most of her friends didn’t even know what happened with her father; they only knew that he was gone. Thoughts ran through Alice’s mind. What will Dan say if I tell him the truth? Do I really want him to know? What if it just messes what we have up? But it can’t because we’re so close. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Here goes nothing. “Well, you know how my dad hasn’t been around?” she started. He nodded and shifted so his body was turned to her. He sensed that this was going to be serious. “He left me and my mom. One day, when I got home from school, his things were gone. No explanation. Nothing.” Alice didn’t even try to fight back the tears that welled up in her eyes. With one blink, they poured down her face. She put her face in her hands and sobbed. She felt arms embrace her shaking body and collapsed in them. “Why… would… he… do some… thing like… that?” she managed to get out. “I… thought we… were happy.”
“Shhh. It’s ok,” he soothed as he ran his hand up and down her back, trying to calm her. He began rocking her back and forth. He put his chin on her head, enjoying the weight of her body against his.
After a few minutes the sobbing subsided, and she looked up at him, mascara streaked down her face. “God, I must look awful,” she laughed as she rubbed her eyes, making it worse; she looked like a raccoon.
“You look beautiful,” he said gently, still holding her, not ready to let her go.
“You’re just saying that.
“No, I’m not.” He bent down and gently kissed her on the lips. His heart beat so fast that he was sure that she felt it beat in his chest. She pulled him closer and kissed him again. She had longed for this instant since she met him, 5 year earlier. He hungrily kissed her back, not wanting this moment to end. She ran her hands up and down his back, trying to get as close to him as possible. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and slowly pushed it up his muscular back. He lifted his arms and allowed her to pull it over his head, breaking their kiss for a second. She threw the shirt on the floor. He paused before kissing her again, their lips just barely parted. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered. She nodded and kissed him again.
He ran his hand down her back and grabbed the hem of her shirt, sliding it up and caressing every inch of skin that was reveled. He pulled the shirt over her head and discarded it on the floor. She slid back so her head was lying on her pillows. He crawled up to her and kissed her again. She was in ecstasy. She reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. As he kicked them off, he started to unbutton hers, kissing down her body to her navel and back up again.
* * *
Alice and Dan laid together in her bed, sweaty bodies cuddled next to each other. Alice’s head was lying on Dan’s chest; hair plastered to Alice’s face and sticking to Dan’s Chest. Dan stroked her hair, unable to comprehend what just happened. Alice enjoyed the moment, finally feeling truly loved since her father left. The beat of dan’s heart and the bass of the music lulled Alice to sleep
* * *
Sun streamed in through the bedroom windows, hitting Alice’s face, and waking her. She stretched, with her eyes closed, accidently hitting Dan in the head with her hand. “Ooph,” he grunted, rubbing the spot where their skin collided. Opening her eyes, she realized that she forgot Dan was there.
“Oopps! Sorry!” she whispered as he opened his yes. “I forgot you where here.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
“It’s alright,” he said, his voice deep in his chest. He closed his eyes again, enjoying the feeling of them lying together in bed.




more to come

[love fuhrer]

I'm struggling to find a plot, which means finding a plot hook is pretty hard too. The writing's good, needs some editing though (punctuation, syntax/word choice, too many words). I guess I need some direction.

[Kare to the Bear]

yea, i'm still working on it. hopefully when i'm done everything will make sense. i have so many ideas in my head, sometimes it's hard to get them out on paper

thanks for reading it and telling me that

This post has been edited by Kare to the Bear: Feb 23 2008, 10:00 AM

[perfectly imperf...]

i like it it gets u hooked

[Kare to the Bear]

^thanks (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

i think i'm finnished the piece for my writing class. i think i'm going to work on it more and make it longer, possibly a book, but i'm not sure. here's the updated version (and yes, it is long)


It’s that young girl, wide-eyed, first love, one time innocence

Alice skipped up the steps of her house and burst through the front door. I can’t wait for the summer! I have so much I want to do, she thought. A warm breeze blew in the open door, dancing with her sunflower yellow dress. She walked a few feet and dropped her chocolate brown purse on the bottom step of the sweeping staircase that led up to the second floor of the old Victorian house. Next to her purse, she gingerly slipped out of her lemon yellow colored high heel sandals and left them on the floor

She walked barefoot into the kitchen. The message indicator blinked on the phone on the granite countertop. Her mother’s voice filled the room as Alice hit the playback button. “Alice, I forgot that I had to go on a business trip. See you Sunday. Love you.” Alice sighed when she heard the message. Mom is never home anymore. She walked to the back stairs, her feet slapping against the cool tile in the kitchen, echoing throughout the large house reminding Alice she was alone. She made her way to the second floor. Stepping onto the snow white, plush carpet, her eyes drifted to the little side table next to the first door in the hall. A thick layer of dust rested on the table. She could see a faint dust-free outline of a picture frame that used to hold a picture of her once happy family.

Sadness knotted her stomach and tears pricked the back of her eyes as she thought about the picture. It was the last day of their final family vacation. Cinderella’s pink castle was a bright contrast to the deep blue sky. Alice, with her 10 year-old face, looked up at her father while she stood in between her parents. They held hands behind her back, smiling wide. The vacation was perfect.

With a forceful blink, she pushed the tears away and made her way down the hall to her room. As she began to pass a dark room where her parents used to spend their nights, a lump in her throat surfaced. She paused in front of the doorway, reached in, grasped the cold brass handle, and pulled it towards her. Once she heard the click of the door latch, she let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. The lump in her throat slowly dissipated until the only thing left was a faint memory. She made her way further down the hallway, passing one sun filled room after another until she reached the last door.

Turning into her room, a stream of light hit her dress, helping brighten her room. Pictures with smiling faces were boats on the blue ocean of her walls. A big four poster bed sat against the wall perpendicular to the door. The huge walk in closet revealed its contents to the bed.

Alice walked across the room to the stereo next to the bed and turned it on. A dance mix poured throughout the room. She turned the volume all the way up, trying to forget her loneliness. The walls pulsated with the beat. Alice hardly heard her own thoughts. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, letting the music take over her.

After a few minutes, she felt better about what was wrong in her life. She grabbed her cell phone and started calling people. “Hey, it’s Alice. Huge party at my house at 9. Invite whoever,” she said to the person who answered the phone. When she finished calling every teenager in the phonebook stored on her phone, she took her iPod out of the dock, brought it downstairs, plugged it in the surround sound, wired throughout the house, and turned it up as loud as it would go. She walked into the kitchen, not feeling so lonely anymore and raided the cabinets for party food.

When she was finished, the island was piled high with plastic cups, chips, beer and wine. Moving into the other rooms, Alice removed embarrassing photos of herself and hid them under the kitchen sink. Glancing at the clock, she still had an hour to kill before people started to arrive. She walked back up the stairs, closing her eyes when she got to the top so she wouldn’t see the empty table again, and walked into the bathroom. Turning on the shower full blast and as hot as it would go, she discarded her dress and stepped in. The hot water hit her like she was standing under a waterfall, hard and uncaring. She scrubbed until her skin became raw. She turned off the water and grabbed a big, fluffy, white towel and wrapped herself up in it. She walked across the hall to her room and made her way to her closet. Grabbing clothes off the hangers and holding them up to herself, she discarded them in a pile on her floor.

Finally content with a pair of low rise jeans and a low cut, belly baring shirt, Alice wandered over to her vanity. She grabbed her shimmer wand, dusted her porcelain face, and added some mascara to her lashes. Looking in the mirror she examined her reflection. Her light brown hair fell heavily on her shoulders, still dripping with water. Her big blue eyes caught everyone’s attention when she didn’t wear eye makeup, but even more so when she put on a little mascara. Her complexion, soft from last year’s fading tan, glistened in the setting sun. She ran a brush through her hair to get all of the snarls out and the excess water off.

With just minutes before people started arriving, Alice walked down the front steps and turned on the front porch light. She grabbed her purse, and hid it in the back of the small closet next to the door and sat on the last stair to wait for people to come.

* * *

Masses of people moved throughout the house. With a cup in hand, Alice made her way through the crowd, not looking for anyone, just watching people. A strong arm snaked under her arm and around her stomach, making her jump. Alice turned around and saw it was Dan, her best guy friend. “Hey! You scared me!” she teasingly yelled, laughing. She reached up and gave him a hug, her arms not even fitting around his muscular body. He hugged her back, breathing in her scent, making his heart skip a beat. She pulled back to get a good look at him. He wore a white ribbed tank top and a pair of jeans. He made her blood run faster and her breath become quicker.

“Great party!” He yelled over the music. The words of how he really felt settled at the tip of his tongue, but they did not deliver because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship.

“Thanks. My mom is on a business trip, so I figured it was time to have a little fun,” she replied, taking a sip out of her cup. “Let’s go some place a little quieter,” she yelled, as she grabbed his wrist and began making her way through the crowd again, waving when she spotted some of her friends; she indicated that she was going upstairs and if they would keep an eye on the party. She led him up the front staircase, each step in beat with the music. She entered the first room at the top of the stairs, shutting the door as soon as Dan entered the room and sat down on her bed. The music was a distant thumping in the background. Alice’s ears rang as she sat in the near silence of her room, the thumping muffled by the door.

Dan walked slowly around the room, examining each photo with so much intensity that the scene became alive in his mind. A smile spread across his face when he reached a picture from his first day at a new school in 8th grade.


Alice is the first person to spot Dan as he walks onto the bus. His brown hair falls into his eyes as he tries to find a seat. His blue plaid shirt is all buttoned up except for the top three buttons, where a white undershirt peaks out. His hazel eyes catch her attention at first. He quickly slides into an empty seat towards the font of the bus, unsure where to sit. One stop after another, kids get on, but they all avoid him like he has some highly contagious disease. Dan just keeps his head pointed to the window, pretending that he doesn’t notice all the stares and the not-so quiet whispers around him. After twenty excruciating minutes, the bus finally comes to a stop at the final destination, John Adams Middle School. Kids stream out of different buses onto the sidewalk, merging together. Everyone on the bus stands up and pushes their way down the aisle. Dan barely manages to join the crowd and gets pushed in every direction. Stumbling down the step, he makes it to the safety of the sidewalk.

Alice gets off the bus and makes her way to the new kid. “Hey, I haven’t seen you before. Are you new?” Dan just nods at her, not finding the words. He can’t get over how her blue eyes sparkle with every breath she takes. “Well, if you hang out with me and my friends, you’ll get along just fine. My name is Alice,” she continues, trying not to show how great she thinks Dan looks.

“Hi, I’m Dan.” he replied. She whips out her camera and takes a picture of them both so no matter what, she could always look at him.


Alice sneezed, bringing Dan back to the party. “Bless you,” he called over his shoulder as he looked at the last picture on her wall. Once he was finished, he walked over to the bed and sat down. “Sooo… what did you want to talk about?” he asked, looking over at her. Her brown hair fell into her face as she looked at her half filled cup. She reached over to the bedside table and placed her cup on it.

She turned and his caring, steel grey eyes looked right back at her. Memories flooded her mind, because of the alcohol swimming in her head, desperate to escape. She hesitated-- there weren’t many people she let into her life. Most of her friends didn’t even know what happened with her father; they only knew that he was gone.

Thoughts ran through Alice’s mind. What will Dan say if I tell him the truth? Do I really want him to know? What if it just messes what we have up? But it can’t because we’re so close. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Here goes nothing. . “Well, you know how my dad hasn’t been around?” she started. He nodded and shifted so his body was turned to her. He sensed that this was going to be serious. “He left me and my mom. One day, when I got home from school, his things were gone. No explanation. Nothing.” Alice didn’t even try to fight back the tears that welled up in her eyes. With one blink, they poured down her face. She put her face in her hands and wept. She felt arms embrace her shaking body and collapsed in them. “Why… would… he… do some… thing like… that?” she sobbed out. “I… thought we… were happy.”

“Shhh. It’s ok,” he soothed as he ran his hand up and down her back, trying to calm her. He began rocking her back and forth. He put his chin on her head, enjoying the weight of her body against his.

After a few minutes the sobbing subsided, and she looked up at him, mascara streaked down her face. “God, I must look awful,” she laughed as she rubbed her eyes, making it worse; she looked like a raccoon.

“You look beautiful,” he said gently, still holding her, not ready to let her go.

“You’re just saying that.

“No, I’m not.” He bent down and gently kissed her on the lips. His heart beat so fast that he was sure that she felt it in his chest. She pulled him closer and kissed him again. She had longed for this instant since she met him, 5 years earlier. He hungrily kissed her back, not wanting this moment to end. She ran her hands up and down his back, trying to get as close to him as possible. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and slowly pushed it up his back. He lifted his arms and allowed her to pull it over his head, breaking their kiss for a second. She threw the shirt on the floor. He paused before kissing her again, their lips just barely parted. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered. She nodded and kissed him again.

He ran his hand down her back and grabbed the hem of her shirt, sliding it up and caressing every inch of skin that was reveled. He pulled the shirt over her head and discarded it on the floor. She slid back so her head was lying on her pillows. He crawled up to her and kissed her again. She was in ecstasy. She reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. As he kicked them off, he started to unbutton hers, kissing down her body to her navel and back up again.

* * *

Alice and Dan laid together in her bed, sweaty bodies cuddled next to each other. Alice’s head was lying on Dan’s chest; hair plastered to Alice’s face and sticking to Dan’s Chest. Dan stroked her hair, unable to comprehend what just happened. Alice enjoyed the moment; happiness streamed through her veins, making her feel like she’s about to burst. The beat of Dan’s heart and the bass of the music lulled Alice to sleep.

* * *

Sun streamed in through the bedroom windows, hitting Alice’s face and waking her. She stretched, with her eyes closed, accidentally hitting Dan in the head with her hand. “Ooph,” he grunted, rubbing the spot where their skin collided. Opening her eyes, she realized that she forgot Dan was there.

“Oopps! Sorry!” she whispered as he opened his eyes. “I forgot you where here.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

“It’s alright,” he said, his voice deep in his chest. He closed his eyes again, enjoying the feeling of them lying together in bed.

“I should get up and go clean downstairs,” Alice murmured with her eyes closed. Spending one more minute in Dan’s arms, Alice forcefully pushed herself up and got dressed in a pair of sweatpants and tank top lying on her floor. Shuffling out of her room, she walked down the stairs and surveyed the mess. Cups and chips were covering the floor. Alice cursed under her breath and walked into the kitchen for a big trash bag. Alice started grabbing cups and threw them into the trash bag. There was another hand helping her out. She looked up and smiled. “Thanks,” she said to Dan as he put a huge stack of cups in the bag.

“No problem. I figured that you might want some help. But what we really need is some music.” Dan walked over to the stereo and turned on the iPod. Music flooded the house. Dan started dancing back over to Alice, making her laugh. He kissed her and they got back to work.

* * *

Within three hours, the whole house was picked up and vacuumed. Alice and Dan looked around the living room, admiring their work. “Ugh, I feel disgusting. I want to go shower, do you want one too?” Alice asked as she walked towards the stairs.

“Sure,” Dan answered as he followed Alice. Alice let him take a shower first, showing him where everything is and how the shower works. As she exited the bathroom, she closed the door behind her. She walked to her room and grabbed her cell phone. She texted her best friend, Mercedes, telling her what happened the night before.

“No way!” Mercedes texted back.

“I know, I can’t believe it either,” Alice responded.

“I’m totally jealous. It’s like a fairy tale!”

“I know right? Oh, Dan just turned off the water, I’ll talk to you later!” Alice set her phone on the nightstand and gathered clean clothes to change into after her shower. Dan walked into the room, hair spiked up from when he ran the towel over it.

“Bathroom’s free,” he said sitting on her bed. He watched her as she walked out of the room to the bathroom. He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes. Her scent wrapped him in a gentle blanket. He heard the water turn on and Alice step under the water. He slowly fell asleep listening to the shower.

* * *

Water dripped onto Dan’s face, waking him up. Alice stood over him, wringing out her wet hair over Dan, dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a spaghetti strap shirt. “Hi sleepy head,” she said laughing. She bent down and tied her hair in her towel like a turban. Turning right side up, she walked over to her vanity and started putting on some makeup. “Did you not sleep well last night?” she called over her shoulder. Dan watched as she skillfully put a little dab of mascara here, and a splash of blush there.

“Uh, no. I slept fine. I don’t even know why I dozed off. I guess I was just so comfortable here.” Alice put down the brush she was using and went over and sat next to Dan.

“Well I’m glad that I can make you so comfortable,” she said in a low voice, leaning in towards Dan. Dan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. A slam of a door downstairs tore them apart.

“What was that?” Dan asked, heart thumping in his ears.

“I have no idea,” Alice replied, getting up. She walked to her vanity and grabbed a curling iron, curling the cord around the handle so she wouldn’t trip on it.

“What are you going to do with that?” Dan asked, laughing.

“I’m going to use it to defend myself against whatever is downstairs.” Alice crept over to the doorway and stuck her head out, checking the hall to make sure it was clear. She motioned for Dan to follow her. With a groan, he got up from the bed and followed her into the hall.

He grabbed her hand and whispered into her ear. “You know, I can do more damage to whoever is down there than you can with that curling iron.”

“Shh! They might hear you,” she hushed him. They tiptoed down the stairs. No one was in the living room. They made their way to the back into the kitchen. The refrigerator door was open and they could see a butt peaking out behind the door. “AHH!” Alice screamed running towards the open door, the curling iron poised above her head, ready to strike when she reached the intruder.

“AH!” the person screamed, dropping the platter she was getting out of the refrigerator onto the floor, so it broke into many pieces. The person stood up. “What are you doing Alice?” her mom asked, with her hand to her chest. “You scared me!”

“Well it wasn’t my fault. You’re not supposed to come home until tomorrow. I thought some random person was in the house. Maybe next time you can call to let me know, so I won’t be scared to death when I hear rustling in the house.”

Her mom finally noticed Dan. “What’s he doing here?” she asked Alice, not even trying to be nice.

“He came over to hang out, is that a crime?” Alice countered back. “I figured I was entitled to it. I’m basically left to fend for myself with Dad gone and you working more than ever to try to deny the fact that he left!” The hurt she had been repressing slowly began to resurface. “You don’t care about me anymore!” Tears of hatred pierced the back of her eyes. “You’ve left me with no one to love, no one to talk to, no one to share my hurt with! You have no idea what’s going on in my life because you’re never around. You might as well leave… just like he did.” The tears flowed down her face like angry rivers. “You don’t even know how much in love with Dan I am. I’ve been holding this back for months, but I can’t any more. FU.CK YOU!” she yelled. Tears poured down Alice’s mom’s face as she took her daughter’s yelling. “I’m out of here, not like you even care,” Alice said.

She turned her back to her mother and stormed out of the kitchen. Dan shot Alice’s mom an apologetic look and followed Alice out of the kitchen. Alice grabbed a pair of flip flops and her purse out of the coat closet and walked out the front door. “Alice wait,” Dan called, jogging up behind her. Alice turned around and Dan embraced her in a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear.

“Why are you apologizing? I should be the one apologizing. You probably don’t want anything to do with me, now that you’ve seen how messed up I am.” Alice pulled away and sat on the grass.

Dan knelt in front of her and took her head in his hands. “Don’t ever say that. No one is too good for you. If anything, you’re too good for them. If you knew half the *beep* that went on in my house, you wouldn’t want me.” He pulled away so she wouldn’t see the hurt in his eyes. “You’re the only thing that makes me happy. You’re lucky your dad split, ‘cause now you don’t have to face him everyday and be reminded that he doesn’t love you. He reminds me every single day that I was a mistake. Everything I do is not good enough; everything I say is wrong. I can’t do anything to please him. When I’m with you, I forget all about him. It’s like I’m a normal guy.”

Alice crawled over to Dan, grass staining her knees green. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”

“Why does it matter? So you would have known how *beep* up I am and you wouldn’t have slept with me?” Dan replied, the hurt showing in his voice.

“God no! Dan, that’s the one thing in my life that I don’t regret. I just wish I knew so I would have been bitching about my life. You have enough problems without mine added to them. I don’t want to lose you like I lost him. You mean too much to me and I’ve been hurt too much to survive one more big loss.”

“Oh, Alice. You will never lose me, ever. If I haven’t left in the past 5 years, I’m not going leave now. You’re stuck with me.”

“What have I gotten myself into?” she said, giggling.

“Oh thanks!” He laughed, pulling her to him and he wrapped his arms around her. She sat there, her head against his chest listening to each breath he takes and the beat of his heart, and watched the world around her; children playing in the yard across the street; an elderly couple walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand; birds tweeting in a nearby tree. A quote by Maria Robinson ran through Alice’s mind that she read in one of her magazines. “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

This post has been edited by Kare to the Bear: Mar 4 2008, 07:26 PM

[wonderwallbyoasi...]

i like everything that was added. i kinda wish there was more becasue for me it was like- big fight-end.- so i wish there was at least a little more in there. but all in all i like it very much.

[Kare to the Bear]

^thanks, that's why i think i might add more to it at somepoint. right now i'm just so... ugh, from trying to finnish it. hopefully in a week or so i'll be able to go back and add more to it